The More You Lie, the Less We Buy

After 10 years as a user of Kaspersky anti-virus software, I'm switching brands, due to the treatment I received by an offshore sales rep.

My credit card was stolen a few months ago, so to allow my subscription to auto-renew, I contacted Kaspersky (which doesn't permit users to change the credit card numbers it keeps on file).

The rep who finally took my call refused to stop reading from a script of "security" questions that were blatantly meant to upsell me. 

Each time I asked her what her questions had to do with security, she insisted they were for my own good.

None of them were.

After 10 minutes of this, I told her I'd switch to the leading competitor, unless she helped me update my credit card info.

She wasted another 15 minutes of my time bumbling around with this process, to no avail.

I politely thanked her for the help and hung up. Now I'm moving on to the competitor.

Walk a mile in your customers' shoes, CEOs. Try a quarter-mile, if you have no time for customers.

The more you lie, the less we buy.

Don't Follow Leaders

Looking back, you can usually find the moment of the birth of a new era, whereas, when it happened, it was one day hooked on to the tail of another.

― John Steinbeck

To many observers, Charlottesville feels like the birth of a new era.

But we've known for years―since 1965, to be exact―don't follow leaders.

That was the year credulity died, the year we entered The Age of Suspicion.

Since then, we've experienced The Pentagon Papers, Watergate, Iran-Contra, Enron, Iraqi WMDs, subprime mortgages, Madoff and, now, Trump.

It's no wonder customers―no matter their ages and demographics―are bred-in-the-bone non-believers.

Yes, you hope they won't deflect your message; but hope's not a strategy.

If they're not already of your tribe, customers discredit your message before they’ve even taken it in.

To capture their attention, you must adjust for mistrust. You must:

• Harmonize your message with customers’ notions of “truth;”
  
  
• Speak authentically; and
  
  
• Achieve artless clarity.

To achieve those three things, you must:

• Get out of the office and talk to customers. Lots of them. Large ones. Small ones. Happy ones. Not-so-happy ones. And don't stop until you have a firm grasp of the "scene" they’ve painted inside their heads. For better or worse, that's the world they inhabit, and the only one they know.
  
  
• Revise the premise of your message to conform to the customers' worldview. When you next tell your story, begin with their "truth." And when you speak, at all costs resist the temptation to challenge that worldview. Customers will dignify your message with a moment of their attention only if your message meshes with their notions of who’s sincere, honest and caring.
  
  
• Tell stories. Customers spot disingenuous organizations a mile away. Your words trigger their BS detectors—even if you’re squeaky clean. They no longer tolerate the expert opinion, the reasoned argument, the manufacturer’s warranty, the “act now” deadline, or the product-claim based on the avoidance of pain. So skip the superlatives, ambiguities, unsupported claims, advertising clichés, jargon, legalisms, fine print, and fear-based sales-talk. Just tell stories. "Once upon a time..."
  
  
• Speak as tersely as possible. If you keep it simple, you’re trustworthy; if you don’t, you’re not. Don't say, "Membership in the association provides professionals the opportunity to pre-register for our annual conference at the member-only rate of $495 instead of the non-member rate of $595.” Say, "Membership saves you $100 on our annual conference.”
  
  
• Include context, to assure you’re understood. Don't say, "We serve more than 100,000 dentists.” Say, "We serve more than 100,000 dentists, two-thirds of all dentists practicing in the US today.”
  
  
• Omit unimportant facts. Don't say, "With more than 300 programmable features, the MLX is a workhorse that directly replaces our SP-88 series.” Say, "The MLX is a powerful new workhorse, with more than 300 programmable features.”
  
  
• Use plain, crisp words and lively figures of speech. Don't say, "Our exhibition is the most comprehensive and efficient way to see the industry’s latest offerings.” Say, "A day at our show gives you a year’s worth of trends, tips and technologies.”
  
  
• Minimize tech- and corporate-speak. Don't say, "Our face-to-face and e-learning opportunities will provide leading-edge techniques to expand your skill set through world-class experts." Say, "Learn the latest techniques from experts in our seminars and Webinars.”
  
  

Does Content Produce Oxytocin?

A recent survey by PwC shows one in two CEOs think lack of trust threatens company growth. They have good reason: Prerequisite to any purchase is trust. And trust is a rare commodity these days.

Why do we trust each other, anyway?

Researchers in California asked test-subjects to choose any amount of money they wished to, and transmit it to strangers via computer. But first, they told the subjects that the money they sent—whatever the amount—would automatically triple in value, after they sent it. They also told the strangers they could keep the money they got, or share it with the senders. Before and after each transmission, the researchers measured the amount of oxytocin—the brain chemical responsible for "social bonding"—in both the senders and receivers.

The researchers found the more money recipients got (money being the gauge for trust among senders), the more oxytocin their brains produced; and the more oxytocin their brains produced, the more likely they were to share that money with senders (money also being the gauge for trust among recipients).

The researchers' conclusion: Oxytocin reduces our fear of trusting a stranger.

I'd like to encourage the Content Marketing Institute to fund a comparable experiment to prove my pet theory: Marketing content produces oxytocin.

If the Institute is unwilling, you can send me money (via computer), and I'll fund the experiment.

It'll be money well spent.

Trust me.

All Hands on Deck

We're sinking. Fast.

That's according to Edelman's newly released 2017 Trust Barometer.

Trust "is now the deciding factor in whether a society can function," says Richard Edelman, president and CEO.

And trust has a gaping rip in its side.

According to the survey, 53% of people distrust institutions;and 32% are unsure of them. Over 75% believe they serve only the rich.

"Trust in institutions has evaporated to such an extent that falsehood can be misconstrued as fact, strength as intelligence, and self-interest as social compact," Edelman says. 

The root causes are globalization and automation, which continue to eliminate jobs.

Can someone save our ship?

Edelman believes business, "the one institution that retains some trust," can.

But "business must get out in front and become an effective advocate on policy, moving away from lobbying toward direct public discourse that provides context on trade, immigration and innovation, outlining both benefits and disadvantages."

He also thinks social media can rescue us.

"Company-owned social media channels should supplement mainstream media to educate and to encourage dialogue. Business should provide citizens with platforms that invite them to help shape policy—giving them a positive outlet for their views and fears."

I'm not so sure. For my money, I'd bet our rescuers will be:

• Entrepreneurs, whose aim isn't to shed jobs, but create them

• Teachers, whose aim is to produce useful citizens

• Writers, whose aim is to inform

• Artists, whose aim is to inspire; and

• Philosophers, whose aim is to help us distinguish truth from lies

Who do you count on?

Trust Issues

Where have all the flowers gone?

                                                                                 — Pete Seeger

Prerequisite to any purchase is trust. 

Yet, hour after hour, high-handed CEOs, white collar bandits and cagey politicos destroy customers' trust. Joining them are hordes of con artists, jackleg manufacturers, self-dealing bloggers and unsavory street marketers.

It’s no wonder companies face a trust deficit of Biblical proportions. And no wonder 8 in 10 customers turn to family and friends, not companies, to sanction their planned purchases.

To build trust, you first need to establish a comfort zone where customer engagement and conversation can begin; inside that zone, you earn trust. (The English word "trust" in fact comes from the German "Trost," which means “comfort.”)

The age-old way to establish a comfort zone was to use symbols. But, thanks to the relentless pursuit of margins, that practice has largely vanished. 

Hotels used to display fresh-cut flowers in the lobby. Banks used to build with a lot of granite and marble. Department stores used to welcome you at the door and serve tea and biscuits. And gas stations used to be staffed by attendants dressed like hospital workers.

Today, businesses no longer use symbols to build comfort zones, but rely instead on "transparency" (a notion that only surfaced with the arrival of e-commerce).

There's a huge problem with that. 

Transparency can't be the bedrock on which to found a comfort zone, because customers care about what you symbolize, not what you divulge. (Don't believe me? Think about our two major presidential candidates.)

If your business hasn't embraced symbols, hoping instead to gain trust by appearing "transparent," it's urgent to do so. And if it has abandoned symbols, it's time to go back to them.

The Ad Tech Monster

Ad tech is destroying the web, says a new report from Kalkis Research.

Media firms, desperate for readers, are turning to ad tech providers to deliver them.

But the providers' algorithms—unintentionally—are driving readers instead through a loop of shady websites.

The fraudsters who own these websites have one goal: to nab the ad dollars of big brands like Walmart and Nike.

The scheme is complex:

• First, the fraudsters run ads that drive readers to "shell" websites, stuffed with stale, stolen and stupid content.

• But readers of high value to ad tech providers—readers with the right demographics—are then redirected through a loop of other shell sites; redirected against their will via automatic pop-ups, pop-unders, and new browser tabs.

• The automatic looping improves the "audience quality" of the the shell sites. Once that quality has been established, the fraudsters sign lucrative contracts with big brands to display their ads on their shell sites.

"Traffic laundering is thriving," the researchers say. "Bad guys have become experts at gaming ad tech metrics and monetizing fake or unwilling visitors."

The fraud is fast turning the web into "a clickbait jungle."

The researchers blame ad agencies, which have so far failed to detect the scheme.

HAT TIP: Ann Ramsey pointed me to the new research.

Email: The Postman Never Rings Twice

Sorry, email marketer.

No do-over for you.

If your emails don't deliver on these four basic needs, you're dead, says e-mail marketing guru Chad White:

1. Respect
2. Function
3. Value
4. Experience

Foremost, customers crave respect. Customers should be notified they're opting in to receive your emails, and find it easy to opt out. "Disregarding permission puts your brand at an immediate disadvantage in the inbox," White says.

Customers also crave function. Your copy should be accurate; your text, legible; your graphics, discernible; your links, clickable; and your design, responsive. "If your emails have broken links and images or have text that’s too small to read on mobile devices, for example, your clicks will suffer."

Customers crave value. Your emails should be useful. They should deliver news, alerts and special offers. Better still, they should be personalized, so they deliver content that's targeted and timely.

Finally, customers crave experience. If your email isn't an experience, it's a waste of time. Customers share treasures, not trash. Experiences, White says, are produced by:

• Targeting niche audiences with triggered messages
• Taking advantage of events and charity work, "which are innately more share-worthy"
• Delivering extra-special content on occasion
• Using design and layout to differentiate your emails; and
• Featuring “share with your network” buttons in share-worthy emails

It's easy to learn if your emails deliver, White says. Just count your opens, clicks, conversions, and forwards.

Ding-dong.

Too Much Marketing, Too Little Storytelling

Mania for narrative persuasion has sanctified storytelling.

But merely mentioning your company's name less in your copy doesn't make you J.K. Rowling.

Most marketers are storyteller manqués.

"There’s just too much marketing the old way, and too little storytelling," says journalist-turned-marketer Tomas Kellner.

Storytelling takes an understanding of story arc.

Story arcs deliver "the pleasure of pity," said the 18th century playwright and philosopher Friedrich Schiller.

We're led to pity when we learn about other people's suffering. But for the listener to feel pity, the storyteller must:

• Provide vivid details. Because suffering told can't equal suffering witnessed, to provoke pity the storyteller's details must be vivid.

• Make the characters accessible. To feel pity, the listener must experience a resemblance between herself and the sufferer, Schiller says. "Where this resemblance is lacking, pity is impossible."

• Provide tons of details. To work, the story must be complete, Schiller says. No important detail can be left out. "We must have unrolled before us, without a single link omitted, the whole chain of determinations."

• Draw the story out. The suffering must be durable. The listener wants to flee suffering, but shouldn't be allowed to do so too soon.

Storytelling isn't designed to teach, Schiller says. That's what history lessons are for. Storytelling is meant "to move us, and to charm our souls."

Literary agent Julian Friedmann tells it well:

Make the audience feel pity for a character. Then make the audience experience increasing amounts of fear for the character, as you put the character through increasingly worse circumstances. Finally, release the audience from the tension of anticipating the terrible things that are going to happen to that character, and the audience feels great.

Razor's Edge

Don't cut it on the job market? Now you can go back to school. Tuition free.

H'University, brainchild of razor manufacturer Harry's, gives students the chance to "learn real-world skills from world-class entrepreneurs, and apply to get hired at top companies."

Personifying value, the microsite proves again content marketing isn't branding.

Content marketers like Harry's realize customers want brands to help them become better citizens, not just better shoppers.

That realization puts content marketers a cut above competitors.

The New New Age

Were he to examine some of Facebook's users, Freud would have a field day.

The good doctor said children, primitives and neurotics all shared an "animistic" view of the universe. Every object has a will that "magical thoughts" can command.

This self-loving "omnipotence" forms the very root of narcissism, Freud believed.

So it's no surprise today's selfie-obsessed customers are embracing magical thinking, as a new report from JWT Intelligence asserts.

New-age accoutrements like crystals, gongs, incense and magic creams are hot, the report says.

"As we navigate through the stress and mundanity of our everyday existence and parallel online lives, we are increasingly turning to unreality as a form of escape and a way to search for other kinds of freedom, truth and meaning.

"What emerges is an appreciation for magic and spirituality, the knowingly unreal, and the intangible aspects of our lives that defy big data and the ultratransparency of the web."

And it's not just Trustafarians who are into magical thinking.

According to Pew Research Center, while the percentage of Americans who attend church declined between 2007 and 2014, the percentage who say they routinely "feel a deep sense of spiritual peace and well-being” increased.

"This is being played out via a third-wave New Age for a post-digital generation, which is seeking spirituality through crystals, astrology, sound baths, tarot and tapping. What differentiates this new New Age from its previous incarnations is that the alternative beliefs and practices are now considered serious, irony-free, credible, millennial friendly and cool."

Nichecraft

"Find a niche, not a nation," Seth Godin says in The Bootstrapper's Bible.

Niche is a time-honored business term and an ancient idea. It literally means a "pigeonhole," and derives from the Latin for nest.

Finding yours means your craft never has to compete on price, because your flock needs you/relies on you/likes you/talks about you/cares about you.

Take, for example, Joe Smith, an ornithologist, independent researcher and top blogger for The Nature Conservancy.

Because he practices his craft with skill and diligence, Joe Smith's flock needs him/relies on him/likes him/talks about him/cares about him.

"There's no such thing as a niche that's too small if the people care enough," Seth Godin also says.

Have you found your niche?

DISCLOSURE: Joe Smith is my son-in-law. Check out Cool Green Science.

Which Restroom Would Your Brand Use?

"Brands identify as many things—cute, quirky, rugged, industrial—but they are rarely male, female or other," says researcher Andreas Voniatis in Brand Quarterly.

"They may appear to be more masculine or feminine by design, but it’s rare for brands to speak in a gendered voice."

But shouldn't every brand man up to gender?

They short answer: Yes.

Voniatis cites a study by his own firm that asked how customers react to content when blind to its author.

Researchers presented 1,000 adults content grabbed from popular Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. They found that content which typically produces negative reactions produced positive ones when anonymized.

"But the most interesting revelation was how responsive we are to content written by members of the opposite sex," Voniatis says. "We found that women responded more positively to content authored by men and vice versa."

According to the study, women are 2% more likely than men to react positively to content authored by a man; and men, 5% more likely to react positively to content authored by a woman.

The findings suggest brands would strengthen the appeal of their "personalities" by speaking in a gendered voice.

"By attempting to appeal to the opposite sex when writing or gendering the brand voice as the opposite of the majority of our customers, we could find new and interesting ways of engaging with our audience," Voniatis says.

Bad-fit Buyers

Caveat venditor: Bad-fit buyers are everywhere.

"Every new customer you bring on who isn’t the right fit presents a churn risk," says Dan Tyre on Hubspot.

Churn is a risk, because it opens new doors to bad reviews.

What are the signs to watch for? The bad-fit buyer:

• Is considerably larger or smaller than your typical customer

• Operates in an industry outside your target market or time zone

• Is discourteous and responds to questions with emotions, rather than facts

• Doesn’t want to answer questions or makes contradictory statements

• Is unwilling to take direction and seems competitive

• Doesn’t have resources (money, time, staff)

• Seeks a "silver bullet"

• Goes from excited to apathetic and back again

• Is disorganized and can’t spend time with you

• Cancels meetings with short or no notice

• Doesn’t follow simple directions (like please read the one-page outline)

• Seems to be going through the motions

• Has to hear you say the same thing at least four times before he gets it

"Almost all prospects will show some of these indicators," Tyre says. "The key is to be 100% transparent, have open conversations with your prospects, and set expectations at every step of the process."

Beware Spectral Evidence

Before a judge ruled against its admission in 1693, spectral evidence was used to condemn Salem's witches to death.

A defendant could be convicted solely on the testimony of a witness who claimed the defendant appeared to him or her in a dream.

Inadmissible in a court of law, spectral evidence is a red herring that still holds sway in today's court of public opinion.

We're engulfed by everyday examples:

• Every social media user has the attention span of a goldfish (although NIH never issued that finding).

• Every business must innovate or die (although only 3% of new consumer products enjoy first-year sales above $50 million—the benchmark of a successful launch).

• Every Planned Parenthood clinic profits from fetal tissue sales (although the activist behind the claim has admitted to faking his documentary).

Before your next witch hunt, please, check your facts.

Should Your Brand Use Profanity?

Friday evening I had the long-delayed pleasure of seeing comedian Lewis Black perform live.

Black raises profanity to an art, using obscenities not to shock, but to amplify, and lessen the pain of living in an absurd world.

In their drive to express authentic passion, more and more brands are resorting to the use of profanity in their marketing communications.

Should you?

The answer's fairly straightforward: the reward—authenticity—may not be worth the risks. By using profanities:

• You risk going off-brand. A frighteningly profane Lewis Black would be on brand; a frighteningly profane Martha Stewart wouldn't. You can, of course, test the waters, and apologize afterwards. As Mel Brooks once said, "I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that´s bullshit."

• You risk offending good customers. The Bowdlers are still with us. Thomas and Henrietta Bowdler were English siblings who published a family-friendly edition of Shakespeare in 1807. We get the word bowdlerize from them (they replaced, for example, Lady Macbeth's cry "Out, damned spot!" with "Out, crimson spot!"). The Bowdlers of this world are easily offended. Just observe any young parent or elementary schoolteacher.

• You risk losing shares. Even people who don’t mind profanity might not share your blue content with family, friends and colleagues. The research is clear on this.

Purple Prose

It's been raining solemn tributes since Thursday.

We've also had to weather a torrent of opportunistic self-promotion.

While there's still a few days to enter, right now it looks like the grand prize in Prove You're Totally Tactless goes to Cheerios for its Tweet.

A spokesman defended the effort by saying both Cheerios and Prince are Minnesotan.

Exploiting headlines works, as David Meerman Scott says.

Boorishness doesn't.

Transparency Can Improve Targeted Ads

A new study shows customers alter their self-labels when served an ad they think targets them because of their web browsing, provided the ad matches their aspirations.

More importantly, they also increase brand consideration.

To reach this conclusion, the researchers conducted four experiments:

• They served web-browsing college students an ad for a restaurant with “Refreshingly Sophisticated American Classics.” They told one group the ad was served because of their web browsing; they told another, because of their demographics. The first group was more likely to label themselves as having "sophisticated food preferences," and was more likely to dine at the restaurant, than the second.

• They served students an ad for a luxury watch, telling one group the ad was based on their web browsing; another, the ad was not. The first group of students was more likely to label themselves as "sophisticated" than the other group.

• They served students an ad for a pro-environment speaker. Students told the ad was served because of their web browsing were more likely to label themselves “green” and donate to an environmental charity, than students who thought the ad wasn't targeted.

• They served students an ad for an "outdoorsy" hot chocolate. Students with an interest in the outdoors were swayed by the ad; students without an interest in the outdoors weren't. The experiment proved, unless they already aspire to something, people wont alter their self-labels because of an ad.

The upshot? 

Web advertisers should be more transparent, because targeted ads with statements like "This is recommended based on your browsing history" can increase brand consideration.

You Don't Have to be Jewish

Once upon a time, I had the privilege of interviewing madman George Lois for a magazine article about ad creative.

When I asked, "What makes an ad effective?" Lois said, "An ad has to kick you in the ass with an idea you like."

In other words, the advertiser needs to startle you, then evoke a little love.

Last year's most-shared ads, according to Unruly, did just this.

Each ad transmitted a powerful idea by marshaling a string of surprising sounds and images that, taken together, can't help but excite love… at least a little.

As Don Draper said in Mad Men, “Advertising is based on one thing: happiness. And you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you are doing is okay. You are okay.”

And now for last year's most-shared ad…



Read more about emotion's role in advertising here.

7 Rules to Rock Your Content

Scale your brand's voice… 

Master the social networks…

Ignite likes and shares…  

And pocket more money than you ever thought possible!

No kidding.

Content will rock your bottom line.

But, you ask… How? 

How do I rock my content?

It's easy.

Follow these 7 rules.

They come courtesy of maxi-marketer William Claude Fields...

1. A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. 

Is your goal to grab millions of eyeballs? Stuff your stuff with keywords.

2. If you can’t dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit. 

Great content takes hard work. Why bother?

3. You can fool some of the people some of the time—and that’s enough to make a decent living.

Every platform delivers a different audience, so repackage every piece of content you create. But don't spend a lot time at it. 

4. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. 

Cheery content's contagious, so publish drivel daily before 9 am. Then head to the beach and relax.

5. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. 

Don't discriminate: treat all audiences with the same low level of respect. Pretend you're United Airlines.

6. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. 

Fail fast, fail forward.

7. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Take the 6 rules above. 

Rinse. 

Repeat.

And have a happy April 1, my rich friend.

The Past isn't Dead. It isn't Even Past.

Ideas that Germans call Schnapsideen are those so stupid, you must have been drunk when you conceived them.

What kind of schnapps-idea is this? a German might ask. 

Urban Outfitters' Vintage Kent State University Sweatshirt is an example.

Whether a real offering or a PR ploy, the product was a Schnapsidee.

In 1970, the Ohio National Guard fired on anti-war student protesters at Kent State, killing four and wounding nine.

When Urban Outfitters released its product, the members of the Twitterverse into Vergangenheitsbewältigung—the struggle to overcome the past—went ballistic.

The company quickly fired off a retraction:

Urban Outfitters sincerely apologizes for any offense our Vintage Kent State Sweatshirt may have caused. It was never our intention to allude to the tragic events that took place at Kent State in 1970 and we are extremely saddened that this item was perceived as such. The one-of-a-kind item was purchased as part of our sun-faded vintage collection. There is no blood on this shirt nor has this item been altered in any way. The red stains are discoloration from the original shade of the shirt and the holes are from natural wear and fray. Again, we deeply regret that this item was perceived negatively and we have removed it immediately from our website to avoid further upset.

The lesson for marketers? 

Those who forget the past are condemned to recall.