Nunsense

Contrary to Sister Aloysius' teachings, some nonsensical statements can be unimpeachably grammatical.

Your dangling modifier can be ludicrous, yet your statement can be perfectly grammatical, as this Tweet demonstrates:
   

We develop tests for flu and other diseases that help patients.

You can ignore an absolute quality, yet your statement can be perfectly grammatical, as this web ad headline demonstrates:

Transparency you will see.

You can flout a determiner, yet your statement can be perfectly grammatical, as this newspaper headline demonstrates:

One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.

Your decision to recast statements like the three above is a matter of judgement, not grammar.

By letting them stand, you risk slowing readers, confusing them, or inviting them to think you're a dope.

But you don't deserve Sister's wrath.

NOTE: The examples you have just seen are true. The names have been withheld to protect the innocent. For more examples, read the final chapter of Steven Pinker's The Sense of Style.

Herdwick Shepherd Tips the Model

Q: Social media gurus talk in praise of the tribe. But who stands up for the herd?

A: James Rebanks, the "Herdwick Shepherd."

A self-proclaimed Luddite, Rebanks is a British farmer and author of the best-selling memoir The Shepherd's Life.

With 75,000 followers, he's also a Twitter phenomenon.

Writing for The Atlantic, Rebanks calls Tweeting about sheep "an act of resistance and defiance, a way of shouting to the sometimes disinterested world that you’re stubborn, proud, and not giving in."

What goes here?

Sheep have long symbolized the very opposite of "resistance and defiance."

"Fortunately, the world is not built solely to serve good natured herd animals their little happiness," the free-spirited philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said.

"I define 'sheepwalking' as the outcome of hiring people who have been raised to be obedient and giving them a braindead job," Seth Godin says.

Intentionally or not, Rebanks has flipped the model.

Or should I say, tipped?

Suddenly sheep are superbly chic.

SPEAKING OF TIPPED: Ann Ramsey tipped me off to the Herdwick Shepherd.

The One Percenters

Try as they might, the narcissists packing the 9/11 Memorial Museum during my visit this week couldn't palliate the place.

Out of a compulsion to vaunt their little lives, they vamped about Ground Zero as if it were Dollywood.

They never got the memo: One percent of people—tops—deserve attention.

Like the 3,000 workers who perished in the Twin Towers.

Like the first responders who risked their all.

Like the Flight 93 passengers and Pentagon employees.

The rest of us don't.

4 Keys to Content Marketing for Events

Event producers didn't have enough to do.

Now comes content.

No sweat.

BrightBull founder Ricardo Molina offers four keys to unlocking the time you need for content marketing:

1. Repurpose. Event production is a treasure trove of content. Your list of speakers and the producer’s notes about their expertise are "a quick polish away from being a 'who’s who' list." Transcripts of production research calls are "blog posts in the making." "Think about all the possible sources of content that already exist in your organization," Molina says. "You’ll be amazed how much there is."

2. Outsource. Why tackle the chore alone? "The world is full of great content creators," Molina says. Buying or bartering for third-party content can be a great way to acquire super stuff, quickly. Combine the task with your search for email lists.

3. Repackage. "Take one kick-ass piece of original content, e.g. an industry survey, and create a whole content series out of it," Molina says. Publish the findings as a report, an e-book and an infographic. Ask speakers to write responses to the findings for your blog.

 4. Email less. Invest less time in emails, to free time for content. "Emails are "the event marketing security blanket," Molina says. "Event marketing plans are littered with them." But with all your time spent writing and blasting emails, you have none to spare for content. Change that.

7 Rules to Rock Your Content

Scale your brand's voice… 

Master the social networks…

Ignite likes and shares…  

And pocket more money than you ever thought possible!

No kidding.

Content will rock your bottom line.

But, you ask… How? 

How do I rock my content?

It's easy.

Follow these 7 rules.

They come courtesy of maxi-marketer William Claude Fields...

1. A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. 

Is your goal to grab millions of eyeballs? Stuff your stuff with keywords.

2. If you can’t dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit. 

Great content takes hard work. Why bother?

3. You can fool some of the people some of the time—and that’s enough to make a decent living.

Every platform delivers a different audience, so repackage every piece of content you create. But don't spend a lot time at it. 

4. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. 

Cheery content's contagious, so publish drivel daily before 9 am. Then head to the beach and relax.

5. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. 

Don't discriminate: treat all audiences with the same low level of respect. Pretend you're United Airlines.

6. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. 

Fail fast, fail forward.

7. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Take the 6 rules above. 

Rinse. 

Repeat.

And have a happy April 1, my rich friend.