The Wanderess

Without knowing why or how, I found myself in love with this strange Wanderess. Maybe I was just in love with the dream she was selling me: a life of destiny and fate; as my own life up until we met had been so void of enchantment.

—Roman Payne, The Wanderess

My first crush was my second grade art teacher.

Her name is forgotten to me.

She dressed in black and wore berets.

She told us she commuted on Fridays to my elementary school by subway from Greenwich Village, where she lived. I knew artists and Beatniks harbored there, enjoying vastly Bohemian lives.

Maybe I was just in love with the dream she was selling me, as my own seven-year life until we met had been so void of enchantment.

Remember your crush this Valentine's Day weekend.

Buying Brazil

An old joke goes, "The CEO asked for coffee. The company bought Brazil."

In middle managers' eyes, decisions by CEOs—even bad ones—are unassailable.

That might-makes-right is why your B2B messaging should mirror CEOs' aspirations.

Even when wrong-headed, those aspirations matter—more than anything.

When J. Bruce Ismay decided to cut the number of lifeboats on Titanic by 66% to fit more luxury cafés, White Star Line "bought Brazil." Why? Ismay aspired to attract super-wealthy customers.

When Gregg Steinhafel decided to fast-track the opening of 124 stores in Canada, Target "bought Brazil." Why? Steinhafel aspired to outgrow Walmart.

No, you don't want to abet disasters (you'll never get testimonials). But you do want to abet CEOs' aspirations—because they're what matter to buyers.

Buyers don’t want to save money. They don't want free trials. They don't want comprehensive solutions.

Buyers want to fulfill the CEO's vision.

They want to buy Brazil.

Junk Content Pushing Europeans to Rebel

Impersonal, junk content is pushing Europeans to rebel against brands, according to new research by Coleman Parkes.

84% of Europeans say their patience with junk has reached its limit; and 18% have taken their business elsewhere, as a result.

Other consequences:

• 65% of Europeans feel less loyal to spammy brands
• 64% think brands aren't doing enough personalization
• 63%  would spend less money with spammy brands
• 57% would stop buying those brands altogether

Compared to Americans' junk-tolerance, Europeans' seems low: they consider just 25% of the content they receive to be junk.

Will Americans soon grow as discerning?

Abe Lincoln, Storyteller

"Humor is both a shield and a sword in politics," Ari Fleischer, press secretary to George W. Bush, recently told CNN.

"Humor is a shield because if people like you they will tend to give you the benefit of the doubt. It is a sword because one of the most effective ways to make fun of your opposition is humor as opposed to direct, frontal, mean-spirited attacks."

Among the presidents who wielded humor—including Teddy Roosevelt, Coolidge, FDR, Kennedy and Reagan—none did it more skillfully than Lincoln.

Lincoln considered himself a "retailer" of other people's puns, wisecracks, japes and yarns. He had a photographic memory for funny material, and spent hours studying humorists' books and essays.

Although quaint by 21st century standards, some of Lincoln's gags can still raise a chuckle.

Lincoln told a story of a man in the theatre who put his top hat on the seat next to him. A plus-size woman sat on it. ""Madam," he said, "I could have told you the hat wouldn't fit before you tried it on."

He told another story of a professional speaker's arrival in Springfield, Illinois. “What are your lectures about?” a city official asked the speaker. “They’re about the second coming,” the speaker said. “Don’t waste your time," the official said. "If the Lord’s seen Springfield once, He ain’t coming back."

He told yet another story of a drunk named Bill, who was so wasted, he passed out in the mud. When Bill came to, he went looking for a way to wash off the mud, and mistook another drunk leaning over a hitching post for a pump. When he pumped the man's arm up and down, the man puked all over him. Believing all was right, Bill found a saloon. A friend inside said, "Bill, what happened?" Bill said, "You should have seen me before I washed."

After one grueling speech, Lincoln said of the speaker, “He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met." He called the arguments of his opponent for president “as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had starved to death.”

Once after being called "two-faced," Lincoln said, “If I had two faces, why would I be wearing this one?”

When Nebraska's governor told Lincoln there was a river in his state named "Weeping Water." Lincoln said, "I suppose the Indians out there call it 'Minneboohoo,' since 'Laughing Water' is 'Minnahaha' in their language."

His contemporaries said Lincoln's real success as a comedian was due to a talent for mimicry. He could mimic voices, accents, gestures, postures and facial expressions perfectly.

Fellow attorney Henry Whitney said, "His stories may be literally retold, every word, period and comma, but the real humor perished with Lincoln."

Watch Daniel Day-Lewis perform as Abe Lincoln, Storyteller.

Conference Producers: Have Faith in Fun

No friends to controversy, conference producers like safe.

Safe speakers. Safe subjects. Safe surroundings.

But safe's also stodgy.

Safe doesn't leave room for fun.

Education researcher Dorothy Lucardie interviewed 50 adult students and teachers and discovered fun boosts leaners' motivation, concentration and engagement.

By injecting fun into classrooms, "more adults are encouraged and motivated to participate in learning with enthusiasm for the journey and optimism for the outcomes," Lucardie says.

If your only goals as a conference producer are to herd attendees between sessions and ensure the pastries are peanut free, your goals are obsolete.

As app designers know, fun is the new professional. Just as the lines between "business" and "casual" have blurred, so have those between "serious" and "fun."

Updating the way you design conferences may send chills up your spine.

But, as fun theorist Bernie DeKoven says, "Have faith in fun."