Terms of Endearment

The role terms play in the marketing mix isn't discussed outside the pages of the Harvard Business Review.

But your terms matter to prospects.

Here's a case study.

Recently, Bob (yours truly) shopped Craigslist for the services of a freelance editor, on his employer's behalf. Based on his Craigslist ad, Steven seemed a capable choice. Bob phoned Steven, described the project, and sent him background materials.

Below, verbatim, is their email exchange immediately after that call.

From Steven to Bob

I've read over the attached documents and have a good grasp on what you want in terms of the scope of the editing. I can realistically accommodate the edits for the 400 documents you've stipulated for $475 and have them ready within your two month time-frame. Or, if you'd like them ready within one month's time, I could accommodate that for $599. Just let me know which option you choose. Also, if there are any other stylistic recommendations you have for the revisions go ahead and send those over to me. I accept Google Wallet for payment. To proceed, go ahead and send your payment, via Wallet, to me and then I can confirm, put this on my schedule and get started.

From Bob to Steven

Wow, I think you are underpricing this project. A few thoughts:

• How much time do you think you’d devote to each document?
• Advance payment on line won’t work. We can pay in installments or a lump sum, but only as satisfactory work is delivered.
• Doesn’t the style guide I sent you make clear the “stylistic recommendations” desired?

From Steven to Bob

You're right. I sent you a quote meant for a different client. Realistically, I could accommodate this within 2 month's time for $3,500 or within one month's time for $3,999. However, I do not accept checks (they have that pesky ability to bounce...) and I do not do work without a payment, or at least a serious deposit, in advance. You came to me so please abide by the processes that I work by. Otherwise, I'd have to deny this request due to lack of seriousness. The only other payment methods I accept are Square Cash, Chase Quickpay or bank transfer.

As the Harvard Business Review might put it, "Steven's terms erected a considerable obstacle to Bob the Buyer's consideration."

By insisting on online prepayment, Steven demonstrated he works only with students and, perhaps, the occasional entrepreneur. He failed to grasp, in this case, his prospect represented an 88 year-old, multibillion company with customers like McDonald's and Microsoft.

The rest of their email exchange follows, again verbatim.

From Bob to Steven

No thanks, Steven.

From Steven to Bob

No skin off my nose. You're obviously a joker or a scammer. Before you waste more time trolling the Craigslist ads like a desperate prostitute, you should know that no self-respecting professional is going to be doing any work without payment upfront. Perhaps if you weren't a senior citizen you'd realize this is how commerce in the 21st century works.

Do your terms cost you customers?

How about your manners?

Bread and Circuses

For 25% of Americans, entertainment trumps accuracy in content, according to a new study by Adobe, The State of Content: Expectations on the Rise.

And the younger you are, the more entertainment counts, the study shows.

Entertainment is more important than accuracy for 10% of Boomers; 20% of Gen Xer's; 35% of Millennials.

In his new collection of essays, Notes on the Death of Culture, Nobel Prize winning novelist Mario Vargas Llosa laments the fact we've become puppets of “emotions and sensations triggered by an unusual and at times very brilliant bombardment of images that capture our attention, though they dull our sensibilities and intelligence due to their primary and transitory nature."

Our addiction to spectacle shows its worst side in politics, today a “mediocre and grubby activity that puts off the most honest and capable people and instead mainly recruits nonentities and rogues," he says.

Instead of leaders, we settle for clowns, ready to do anything to grab a moment of our attention.

Come as You Are

In the 1970s, hirsute posers—there were many—who showed up at sit-ins, rallies and music festivals were labeled "plastic hippies."

They'd take time off from their jobs, let down their hair, don their best tie-dye, pack a bong or a bottle of Boone's Farm, and make the scene.

People today are spared the need to package themselves in order to infiltrate happenings.

Brands are another matter.

To rate with Millennials, brands have to protest against global warming, epidemics, racism, homophobia, fat-shaming and unequal pay—or at least pretend to.

Henk Campher, San Francisco-based publicist and author of Creating a Sustainable Brand, calls the pretenders the "quick and dirty"—campers on the bottom steps of a "sustainable-brand pyramid" populated by:

• Snake oil sellers—hypocrites (Volkswagen, for example);

• Blah brands—big talkers (Apple); and 

• Offset brands—penitents (Starbucks).

Not surprisingly, 99.9% of companies, according to Campher, lack any sustainability gene.

But at least they're honest about it.

My advice to plastic hippies: Come to the party, but come as you are. The rest of us—your customers, employees and investors—prefer the real you.

All Hat, No Cattle

The world is filled with big, stupid companies.

When it comes to the customer experience, they're "all hat, no cattle."

A story to illustrate.

I encountered a bug in the software from one of today's top 10 providers. The bug is so serious, it prevents any use of the product. 

My first plea for help spawned this canned email:

Thank you for submitting your case. My name is Henjie from Support. I have taken ownership of your Case number 12483149. I understand that you need some assistance. I won't be able to call you. For now, I will need to have your case endorsed to a team to make sure that we will be able to assist you further with your concern. Thank you for choosing [name withheld].

Four weeks, hours of my time, and 31 comparably inane messages later, no remedial action has been taken.

Disney likes to say, "no employee ever 'owns the customer,' but one employee always 'owns the moment.'"

At stupid companies, employees own neither customers nor moments. The only "owners" are the legal ones, who spend all their moments minding the share price, while buzz-talking auto-responders are left minding the store.

Entrepreneurs can take heart.

Miracle on 34th Street? Or Ploy to Sell CDs?

In the wake of Pope Francis' three-city tour, brisk sales of his forthcoming rock album Wake Up! are assured.

In Central Park, just one of many stops, he drew more than 80,000 fans—20,000 more than Beyoncé turned out the day after Francis appeared there.

You might argue the Vatican planned the trip to max out Christmas sales of Wake Up!—an acceptable stunt, provided the profits are actually used to aid refugees.

But your argument would be sheer casuistry. 

Apropos, given that Francis is the first Jesuit pope.

Casuistry is a method of moral reasoning perfected in Europe during the 16th and 17th centuries by the Jesuits. 

It is still used today to solve moral puzzles in business, law and science.

Casuistry, derived from the Latin word casus (meaning "case"), studies all sides of a question. It becomes useful when values conflict. For example:

• Should a CEO's duty to maximize shareholder return take priority over protecting the environment? 

• Should employees' right to privacy yield to improved productivity? 

• Should an employer benefit from the knowledge of workers it hires away from a competitor?

• Should an employee take advantage of a discount offered by a supplier, if free tickets to a football game come with the deal?

But, sadly, the word casuistry, as well as phrases like "Jesuitical reasoning" and "Jesuitical arguments," are most often used as pejoratives implying intrigue and equivocation.

The Oxford English Dictionary in fact claims that casuistry "often (and perhaps originally) applied to a quibbling or evasive way of dealing with difficult cases of duty."

Emotion Trumps Promotion

Think B2B branding's about promoting product features? 

Think again.

Research firm CEB recently asked 3,000 B2B buyers whether they can tell one company's brands from another's, based on product features.

86% cannot.

More importantly, CEB's study revealed B2B buyers have stronger emotional ties to business brands than their B2C cousins have to consumer brands.

Why? 

Because buying the right brand can make them heroes; and buying the wrong one can make them unemployed.

In fact, for B2B buyers, "business value" has only half the importance "personal value" does, the study shows.

B2B buyers, in addition, are eight times more likely to pay a premium price for brands that offer "personal value."

Roll Over, Richard Branson

Real brand spokespeople can't hold a candle to imaginary ones for tugging heartstrings.

Personification, hypnotizing us since Homer's day, attributes human qualities to animals, abstractions and inanimate objects.

Not only do educators and entertainers like Sesame Street, Disney and Pixar tap into personification, but marketers bank on it to spur customers' cravings for parity products.

Personification is a breed of metaphor, and the DNA of every marketer's imagination, says marketing professor Stephen Brown.

"Our very understanding of the world is reliant on figurative thinking," he writes. "Metaphors are both unavoidable and invaluable. They are the bits, the bytes, the binary code of the imagination and the crucible of today’s creative economy.

The most powerful metaphors symbolize human embodiment, sensations and emotions, Brown says.

"Hence, we sniff out market opportunities, listen to the voice of the customer, keep in touch with technological developments, spot yawning gaps in the market and lament the chronic myopia of top management. Our basic worldview is personified, in other words, and marketing’s root metaphors reflect this fact."

A sampling of famous personifications includes:

• Mr. Peanut
• Mr. Moneybags
• Mr. Clean
• Michelin Man
• Marlboro Man 
• Uncle Ben
• Aunt Jemima 
• Betty Crocker
• Peter Pan
• Californian Raisins
• Pillsbury Doughboy
• Jolly Green Giant
• Keebler Elves
• Snap, Crackle and Pop
• Google Android 
• Budweiser Clydesdales
• Tony the Tiger
• Dove Soap
• Red Lobster
• Angry Birds
• Playboy Bunny

NOTE: Thanks to photographer and video producer Ann Ramsey for suggesting this post; she personifies creativity.

Beware Influencers for Sale

The Federal Trade Commission isn't keen about marketers who truck with shady social media influencers, as two recent cases illustrate.

In November, it slammed ad agency Deutsch for misleading consumers after a rabid junior account exec persuaded fellow employees to use their personal Twitter accounts to broadcast ringing endorsements of Sony's PlayStation Vita game console.

The employees failed to disclose they worked for Deutsch or that Sony was a client, and the FTC ruled their tweets could reasonably be understood as the genuine opinions of consumers.

This month, the FTC charged online network Machinima with consumer deception because it paid two influencers $45,000 to post videos on YouTube that endorsed Microsoft’s Xbox One. Like Deutsch's employees, the two influencers failed to disclose that their seemingly authentic opinions were anything but.

Machinima had guaranteed Microsoft 19 million views of the videos.

Unfortunately, one originated within the FTC.

Publish, Don't Perish

Everyone knows "less is more," says Alexandra Samuel in the Harvard Business Review; but masters of brevity can sound loutish on line.

And one ill-thought-out email can jeopardize a career.

When writing an email or social media post, Samuel suggests you:

• Use a conversational tone
• Start with your key point
• Avoid profanities, acronyms, bragging and kvetching
• Exercise caution with humor
• Be 30% nicer than you are off line
• Adapt your tone to the platform

No matter the topic, "if you write it down, you should be prepared to see it on the front page of a newspaper," Samuel says.

"That doesn’t mean you can’t email your colleagues about confidential business dealings, but be sure that you can live with whatever you’ve written—so don’t write down anything that would sound small-minded or unethical (particularly if taken out of context). And when you’re posting on social networks, which are out in the open, assume that anyone can see anything—including your boss, your mother, your clients, and your kids."

Your Event is Either an Experience or a Waste of Time

While they puzzle over details, many event organizers never grasp the key to a satisfactory event.

It has to deliver an experience.

In the same way a restaurant is not about food, an event's not about tables, chairs, booths, badges, busses, signs or even speakers.

An event is about an experience.

Restaurateur Danny Meyer says the restaurant's job isn't to serve food.

It's to create an experience of wellbeing: to instill in each patron the sense that "when we were delivering that product, we were on your side."

Delivering an experience justifies the patron's expenditure—not of money, but of time—Meyer says. "When they leave, are they going to say, 'That was a good use of my time?'"

"The most precious resource we all have is time," Steve Jobs once told a reporter.

Are you delivering an experience, or wasting your attendees' time?

A $49 Cure for Tone Deafness

Tone deaf? 

Well, good news: there's an app for that.

For only $49 a month, Crystal will provide you the empathy you sorely lack.

A Gmail add-on, Crystal scrapes your colleagues' social media posts; analyzes the posts; and attaches to each individual one of 64 different personality types.

Then, whenever you craft an email, the app prompts you to revise your words and ideas, so they sync with the reader's personality type.

Autocorrect, meet Myers-Briggs.

Crystal also suggests when to tighten your message; toss in an emoji; or use a little humor to soften things.

The end result? All your emails turn out more pleasant and pithy.

Crystal's developers claim their algorithm assigns personality types with 80% accuracy.

You can boost that accuracy, too, by answering multiple-choice questions about a colleague (such as, "If there were a conflict at work, how would he or she react?").

All Web Journalists are Liars

Jon Stewart convinced us—as if we needed convincing—that all TV journalists are liars.

Ryan Holiday, minus the laughs, is the Jon Stewart of the web.

After reading the first 40 pages of Trust Me, I'm Lying, you will never read news from Business Insider, The Daily Beast, Drudge Report, BuzzFeed, Politico or Huffington Post with your old credulity again.

A recovering PR practitioner, Holiday explains how starving web journalists work; and how greedy publishers and wanton publicists exploit their hunger every hour of every day.

"Bloggers eager to build names and publishers eager to sell their blogs are like two crooked businessmen colluding to create interest in a bogus investment opportunity—building up buzz and clearing town before anyone gets wise," Holiday writes. "In this world, where the rules and ethics are lax, a third player can exert massive influence. Enter: the media manipulator."

With the same aplomb that Silent Spring laid bare corporate greed and The Pentagon Papers government secrecy, Trust Me, I'm Lying exposes the utter corruption that plagues web journalism—and the noxious effect it has on all of us.

Aim for the Heart

You'll earn an inimitable advantage over competitors if you link your brand with customers' hearts, says Michael Hinshaw, a customer experience specialist, in CMO.

Hinshaw cites research from The Disney Institute showing that companies that rouse good feelings have customers three times more likely to repurchase a company's products than the customers of other companies.

Customers develop feelings about your brand based on experiences with it. And try as you might to win them over with slogans, cheap prices, bribes or warranties, feelings are facts for customers, Hinshaw says.

So how do you forge heart-felt ties with your brand?

• Learn the features of your brand that customers care about. Do they care about choice, reliability, durability, speed, comfort, convenience, neatness, or other features? Delivering unimportant features well won't improve how customers feel.

• Track each customer's expectations of your performance on these features. Customers' expectations differ at different times, and for different transactions, Hinshaw says. To catch a customer's fancy, you need to meet her expectations in the moment. At first, you might have to show the customer that your products are fun and safe (you market party favors, for example); while at a later time, that you can deliver them overnight, in any style and color (just in time for a birthday).

What Planet are You on?

"Effective stories match the worldview of the people you are telling the story to," Seth Godin says.

The last time I checked, in my world the least effective way to persuade people you were trustworthy was to claim you were trustworthy.

What worldview does Overstock.com think customers have?

Selling at Tradeshows—Part 2

Share, Don't Stare

Tradeshows are an ideal opportunity for "storytelling," as my previous post emphasized.

But most exhibitors waste that opportunity.

Rather than engaging attendees in their why, they lurk about their booths, eyeing attendees like predators... waiting for some display of vulnerability. 

The moment they detect a sign of weakness, they pounce, hoping to subdue victims with a deadly shower of product features.

Tradeshow marketing guru Steve Miller likens this behavior to "hunting."

He advises exhibitors to quit hunting and, through friendly words and gestures, create a "safe zone" where attendees won't feel threatened.

Miller also recommends that exhibitors avoid these unfriendly behaviors:

• Sitting
• Reading
• Eating and drinking
• Talking on the phone and texting
• Standing in the aisle like the "border guard"
• Clustering with other booth staffers (like some "street gang")
• Ignoring attendees
• Sizing up attendees instantly
• Handing out stuff freely

Selling at Tradeshows—Part 1

NOTE: This is the first in a series of two posts.  Without shame, I confess to pirating ideas from others. But in the words of poet T.S. Eliot, "Good writers borrow.  Great writers steal."

Tell, Don't Sell

A tradeshow can be an ideal medium for "storytelling" (in Seth Godin's sense).  

Think of the attendees as scouts gathered round your campfire, except their badges aren't for merit.

Unfortunately, most companies don't maximize the medium.  That's because they define selling not as storytelling, but as revenue generation.

Desperate to generate revenue, most companies that exhibit at tradeshows try to engage attendees by "pitching" product features.  

But this definition of selling is passe.  Worse yet, allowing this definition of selling to drive exhibiting produces nothing but the real-world equivalent of spam.  And everyone hates spam.

Tradeshow exhibiting—when handled effectively—generates relationships.

And relationships are built on stories, stories that "start with why" (in Simon Sinek's sense).  Why are you in business?  Why should anyone care?  Why do customers spend money with you?

As an exhibitor, you have two compelling reasons to quit selling and start telling:

• Most attendees have done their homework (product research) before the show.  They know what the players in your field do.  The one thing they may not know is why.

• With all your competition—all the me-too products vying for attendees' attention—you can't afford to waste the chance to engage them with your why by focusing on features.

What's the lesson here? 

Revenue generation is imperative.  But storytelling precedes it.

Scout's honor. 

Next installment: Share, Don't Stare