The Big Short

Potent speakers and writers lean on lively—and fewer—words.

I once heard Lew Ranieri, perturbed by a long-winded attorney for Freddie Mac, ask her, "Could you please talk faster? I'm having a bad day."

Emerson wrote in his Journals, "All writing should be selection in order to drop every dead word."

Emerson wondered why more speakers and writers didn't edit themselves, erasing all the "flat conventional words and sentences."

"If a man would learn to read his own manuscript severely—becoming really a third person, and search only for what interested him, he would blot to purpose—and how every page would gain! Then all the words will be sprightly, and every sentence a surprise."

Lively speaking and writing is short and concise. 

Conciseness will keep your audience.

But don't go overboard, and prune vital information.

The Ancient Roman poet Horace said, “In trying to be concise, I become obscure.”

Want to be concise, without becoming obscure? 

Bookmark this guide.

Brevity. Before It was Cool.

A recent study by Microsoft reveals that 67% of heavy social media users struggle to concentrate.

Ultrathin attention spans make brevity—or, more accurately, conciseness—more important to marketers than ever.

In his introduction to the 1979 edition of The Elements of Style, E.B. White praised his teacher and coauthor William Strunk for writing, fifty years earlier, "fifty-nine words that could change the world." 

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

It's little wonder Strunk revered brevity. 

He was an English professor at Cornell; forced to read undergraduates' papers, he understood well there are limits to the patience of every reader—even an academic.

Watch Your Step with "Jive"

I read an e-book recently that, packaging-wise, would earn the envy of any marketer.

But all its polish and pizazz were wasted on me when I collided with an all-too-common blunder business writers make: confusing the words jive and jibe.

The e-book read:

"Influencer marketing jives with content marketing. Influencer marketing doesn't just jive well with with content marketing. It IS content marketing."

The writer meant "jibe."

The verb jibe means to accord with something.

The noun jive means swing music, foolish chatter, or the jargon of hipsters. As a verb, jive means to dance, talk or mislead.

A Lesson from LinkedIn

Cleveland headhunter Kelly Blazek made national headlines last week for flaming a jobseeker who contacted her through a LinkedIn group.

Blazek's victim didn't sit still for the abuse. She posted the headhunter's put-downs verbatim on several other Websites and they quickly went viral.

Blazek apologized for the breach of trust in a letter to The Plain Dealer. “In my harsh reply notes," she wrote, "I lost my perspective about how to help, and I also lost sight of kindness."

Blazek subsequently deleted all online traces of herself.

Ironically, only last year the headhunter was named "Communicator of the Year" by the Cleveland Chapter of the International Association of Business Communicators.

We all can benefit from the advice of Florence Hartley, author of The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, published in Boston in 1860:

"Never write a letter carelessly. It may be addressed to your most intimate friend, or your nearest relative, but you can never be sure that the eye for which it is intended, will be the only one that sees it. I do not mean by this, that the epistle should be in a formal, studied style, but that it must be correct in its grammatical construction, properly punctuated, with every word spelt according to rule. Even in the most familiar epistles, observe the proper rules for composition; you would not in conversing, even with your own family, use incorrect grammar, or impertinent language; therefore avoid saying upon paper what you would not say with your tongue."

Write to Delight

In Eight B2B Companies That Deliver Delightful Copywriting, Hubspot's Corey Eridon recommends these rules for better writing:

• Choose the right words. Precision turns the most complex ideas into simple ones. 
• Be concise. Omit everything that's inessential.
• Empathize. Find common ground with your customers and avoid "business babble."
• Don't be afraid to have fun. Infuse a little humor in your copy and you'll charm your audience.

How to Breed More Believers

Customers come to your marketing content as skeptics.

It's your job to turn them into believers.

A proven way to combat skepticism is to substantiate your product claims with statistics.

Far better than other details, statistics strengthen your content's persuasiveness, even when they're from a third party.

Consider the following claims (by a window manufacturer):

SageGlass is ideal for buildings where sustainability is a goal. It controls the sunlight and heat that enter a building, providing great thermal efficiency. It also means buildings can use smaller, more efficient HVAC systems, dramatically reducing energy consumption.

Consider how much more powerful the claims become when statistics are added:

Researchers at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory have said that full deployment of dynamic, highly insulating glazing can save up to five percent of the US energy budget. That’s equivalent to over 160 gigawatts of electricity generated annually by fossil fuels. Such savings could reduce CO2 emissions by 300 million metric tons.

Clarity Trumps Persuasiveness

Does your value proposition get lost in a ton of puffery?

If so, you're turning off prospects.

Your value proposition, not the way it's stated, is the key to winning customers.

If you're "talking up" your product at the expense of clearly expressing its value, go back to the drawing board and simplify your copy.

In 2011, Dr. Flint McGlaughlin, Managing Director of Jacksonville Beach, FL-based MECLABS, tested two versions of a Web site.

Version A provided an exhaustive list of product benefits, describing each in glowing terms. It wrapped up with a call to action that asked prospects to link to another page with purchase directions.

Version B—half the length of Version A—listed only the product's most appealing benefits and leaped right into the purchase directions.

Version B, "by reducing the amount of information contained in the copy and clearly focusing on just the core aspects of value," according to McGlaughlin, enjoyed a response rate 200% greater than that of Version A.

"When it comes to crafting effective copy, clarity trumps persuasion," McGlaughlin says. "Get clear about your value proposition."

In Media Res

Attention-grabbing copy leads with a bang; namely, the thing that matters most to your prospects.

Let prospects know from the first few words they read that you can help them reach their most important goal.

Don't start with throw-away statements, in the mistaken belief you need to warm them to you.

You may remember from school there's an ancient technique for literary narrative called in media res, dating way back to Homer's Iliad.

Latin for "in the middle of things," in media res plunges the audience into a crucial situation right at the start of a story.

The chain of events leading to the situation is never related; or is revealed only later in the narrative.

The technique works, because it involves the audience immediately.

Remember in media res when you begin your next email, Web page, ad, brochure, script or sales letter.

The Power of Thanks

Part 5 of a 7-part series

Kevin Hogan, author of The Science of Influence, says the fourth "magic word" is please.

So it shouldn't surprise you the fifth stealthy persuader is, you guessed it, thanks.

Thanks is a word we often forget to include in emails, posts, ads and verbal requests.

But it's irresistible, because it says you're grateful for the customer's consideration.

So use it more often.

Thanks!

The Power of Please

Part 4 of a 7-part series


We're taught as children to "Say the magic word" for good reason.

Please is indeed magical, despite the fact we're all aware that its express purpose is to persuade, according to Kevin Hogan, author of The Science of Influence.

Including the word in emails, posts, ads and verbal requests is guaranteed to boost their persuasiveness.

So please do it.

Where's Your Proof?

At a turning point in the novel Great Expectations, the central character is told by his attorney, “Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There’s no better rule.”

Are you counting on looks to persuade prospects? Or does your copy provide the proof points they require?

To move prospects from interest to desire, proof points are mandatory. They give prospects the evidence they need to believe what you claim might be true. But in the rush to distinguish their products from competitors', marketers often neglect to provide even the most common ones: 

• Qualifications of the people behind the product
• Specifications
• Performance statistics
• Test results
• Achievements of customers who've used the product
• Testimonials
• Endorsements by experts
• Awards won
• Demonstrations
• Unconditional guarantees

Without question, today's ADD-positive prospects want to learn one thing about your product: how it's different.

That doesn't mean they'll settle for your word on it.

PS: My thanks to Richard Hendrickson for inspiring this post.

Should Your Copy Forgo Good Grammar?

Bad grammar in an ad's headline caught my eye recently. (The ad comes from a company that rents furniture to tradeshow exhibitors.)

YOUR VISION.
OUR FURNISHINGS.
IT GETS YOU NOTICED.

What could the copywriter have been thinking?

• The combination of "Your vision" and "Our furnishings" gets you noticed;
• The two antecedent nouns (one of which itself is plural) don't require use of a plural pronoun; or
• "It gets you noticed" sounds livelier than "They get you noticed."

Should your copy forgo good grammar? The answer's yes if:

• The rules of grammar weaken your argument, and
• You're certain your audience doesn't prize learning.

I'd bet the copywriter thought "It gets you noticed" packed punch, and the rental company knows its customers don't care whether a pronoun disagrees with its antecedents.

Ad man David Ogilvy said, "I don’t know the rules of grammar. If you’re trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think."

Watch Your Language

The father of phrases like death tax (a.k.a. estate tax) and climate change (a.k.a. global warming), Republican strategist Frank Luntz employs focus groups to examine words’ emotional content.

His goal is to find words that will change people's visceral reactions to hot-button issues.

In a 2012 speech to the Washington State Chamber of Commerce, Luntz advised business executives to revise some of their pet phrases. He recommended they replace :

• Free enterprise with economic freedom; 
• Middle class with hardworking taxpayers; and 
• Business climate with healthy economy.

Luntz also recommended executives strike understand, accountable and important from their vocabularies, because listeners no longer have faith in these words.

You need not agree with Luntz's politics—I, for example, would replace his death tax with fairness reset and his climate change with planetary meltdown—to agree with his theory.

The emotional content of words makes them powerfully persuasive.

Novelist Joseph Conrad once wrote, "He who wants to persuade should put his trust not in the right argument, but in the right word. The power of sound has always been greater than the power of sense."

Six Principles of Persuasion: Authority

Part 5 of a 6-part series

You're feeling the power of authority when you accept without question the auto mechanic's recommendation to replace your tie rods.

In Influence, Robert Cialdini writes, "We are trained from birth that obedience to proper authority is right and disobedience is wrong."

Heeding an authority is wise—when her expertise is genuine. 

But trouble lies in the fact we're vulnerable to symbols of authority:

• Titles, certifications and professional designations;
• Uniforms and business suits; and 
• Trappings of success (trophies, limos, posh offices, club memberships, etc.).

Authority explains why we buy products recommended by actors in TV ads; why we over-tip showy waiters; and why con men like Bernie Madoff flourish.

Want to persuade someone? Trumpet your expertise.

Six Principles of Persuasion: Liking

Part 4 of a 6-part series

You're feeling the power of liking when you accept the affable rep's suggestion to rent a Mercedes, even though you'd be happy with a Hyundai.

Robert Cialdini claims three factors affect likability: 

• A person's physical attractiveness;
• Her similarity to ourselves; and 
• Her readiness to compliment us.

The more these factors are in force, the more likable the individual.

Liking explains why the handsome account exec enjoys a bigger income than his homely colleague; why the insurance agent is so quick to tell you he shares your passion for mountain biking; and why the Realtor says you have beautiful children.

Want to persuade someone? Preen. Relate. Flatter.

Six Principles of Persuasion: Social Proof

Part 3 of a 6-part series

You're feeling the power of social proof when you order the same appetizer as everyone else at the table, even though you've never eaten a ridge gourd.

Robert Cialdini says social proof equips us with a "wonderful kind of automatic-pilot device" that spares us mistakes—but also leaves us vulnerable to marketers.

Social proof explains why baristas salt the tip jar; why publishers splash "best-seller" across book covers; and why manias for products like mortgage derivatives and Cabbage Patch Dolls occur.

Want to persuade someone? Tout the number of customers you have or all the great reviews you've gotten.

Six Principles of Persuasion: Consistency and Commitment

Part 2 of a 6-part series

You planned to buy a dress, not a purse. But you bought a purse because the salesperson said, "You really need a purse that matches your new dress."

You're feeling the power of consistency when you go along with a suggestion automatically. 

Robert Cialdini calls consistency a "shield against thought" that protects us from "unpleasant realizations" (such as the fact that you can hardly afford the new dress).

We prize consistency because we think inconsistency is a character flaw. But that belief can work against our interests.

Consistency kicks in after commitment.

You feel the power of commitment whenever you accept a suggestion to extend your involvement after saying "yes" to a simple request.

• You agree to take your utility company's phone survey, then agree to switch to a more expensive monthly plan. 
• You agree to sign a petition, then agree to donate to the cause. 
• You agree to attend a free seminar, then buy an annuity.

Commitment rules us because it affects self-image. We want to be smart consumers, good citizens, shrewd investors. But that belief can also work against our interests.

Consistency and commitment explain why contests generate new customers; why "lowball" pricing produces profits; and why cross-selling is part of every salesperson's skill-set.

Want to persuade someone? Ask him to perform an easy deed.

6 Principles of Persuasion: Reciprocation

Part 1 of a 6-part series

Robert Cialdini's best-selling textbook Influence is nearly four decades old, but its teachings are as fresh anything you'd find at the latest TED.

You're feeling the power of reciprocation whenever you feel the urge to donate in response to a "lumpy mailer" from a nonprofit (one of those direct mail pieces that includes a pen, a package of seeds, or a pad of address labels).

Reciprocation—a sense of duty to repay favors in kind—rules human behavior and sets us apart from other animals.

Reciprocation explains why free samples spur purchasing; why international relief efforts promote alliances; and why concessions make negotiation possible.

Want to persuade someone? Do him a favor.

To Sell More, Connect the Dots

How often do you receive, as I did this week, an unsolicited email like this?

Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

I am following up with the email I sent you regarding IT Decision Makers.

I’m curious if you had a chance to read my previous email and take this initiative further.

Please send over your data requirement and the criteria of your target market to process quality, counts, samples and pricing.

Please note that the database can be customized in exact line with your need.

Thanks and I look forward to your reply.

Warm regards,

Carlton

What's wrong with this email?

1. The sender didn't distinguish his product from the hundreds of competing ones.
    
2. The sender wants the reader to write down and send him specifications, but the instructions are vague and the task sounds daunting.

Want to sell more? Connect the dots for your prospect. 

1. Your prospect needs to know how your product's different. Spell out the difference and help her visualize success by using it.
   
   
2. Your prospect's busy. Make it easy for her to choose your product by leading her through the first step toward buying it.

How to Calm an Angry Customer

Recently, I had my DNA analyzed and learned I'm related to Benjamin Franklin.

So I'll quote him.

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

How can you make amends after disappointing a customer?

Sue Hershkowitz-Coore, author of Power Sales Writing, offers these five tips:

Plan to keep the customer's business. Before you write a word, determine your strategy for delighting the angry customer. Find an alternative solution to her problem.

Begin with a thank-you. Offering a thank-you makes the customer feel "safe and smart," according to Herskowitz-Coore. Writing, "Thank you for giving me a chance to explain the situation," helps disarm further criticism.

Validate the customer's viewpoint. Acknowledge that, from her shoes, the customer's right. "The words 'Your'e right' are magical when they're genuine."

Belay the apologies. Don't dive into the "We're so sorry" waters. An apology is robotic and doesn't soothe; a solution is sincere, and should.

Stay positive. "Explain what is possible, not what is impossible," advises Herskowitz-Coore. Find positive ways to express negatives. Tell your angry customer what you can do, not what you cannot do—and explain what's in it for them.