Saturday, December 4, 2010

Marketing Lessons from the Walking Dead

Some marketing tactics never wear out. 

Others survive long past their prime.

Here are five that should be put out of their misery.

Now.

Greenwashed product names. Branding consultants, please advise your clients: the mere act of inserting "Eco" in front of a product name doesn't reduce that product's carbon footprint or make it healthy to consume.

Blatant self-promotion masquerading as e-newsletters.  No one likes these travesties.  That's why they're wearing out.  I just received one that announced it will no longer include fresh material, due to "author fatique."  Instead, the newsletter will consist of old blog posts.  Now I'm fatigued.

Those annoying three-word headlines.  You know the sort I mean: 

Define. Design. Deploy.
Entice. Excite. Engage.
Originate. Optimize. Outsource.

Yes, yes, yes, alliteration is powerful.  But enough, enough, enough.

Gated white papers that don't even download.  These add insult to injury.  I provide you my contact info, budget, buying authority, age, gender, eye color and last known whereabouts.  You provide me nothing.  Except phone calls from India.

Unwanted inbound telemarketing calls.  Securities salespeople, when will you finally get it?  No, thank you, I don't wish to review my investment portfolio at this particular moment.  I already feel lousy enough talking to you.

Your turn.  Nominate a zombie you wish to put out of its misery.

NOTE: Apologies to David Meerman Scott for corrupting the title of his wonderful book.  I urge you to read it.
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