Ads Need Instant Meaning to Register

If a sign is not necessary, then it is meaningless.

— Ludwig Wittgenstein

A fundamental law of advertising—a law too often ignored—goes:

The more you try to say, the less you get across.

How many times have you seen mind-boggling ads like this?

What's the advertiser promoting, you wonder. 

A family of ales? A bar? A restaurant? 

None of the above.

It's a trade show. 

But is it the cloud computing industry's "premier show?" Or is it the cloud computing industry's "global show?" You decide. The advertiser can't.

Confusing ads never register with readers.

"Ads need to have 'instant meaning' to stand a chance," says a recent report from brand consultancy Kantar Millward Brown.

"When developing ads based on an idea or feeling you want to communicate, make sure these can easily be grasped," the report says.

"An idea or impression has a better chance of landing, and influencing, what are often superficial future purchase decisions."

More on James' Hierarchy

A colleague asked me to rate his organization's events on the 5-point scale I proposed earlier this week.

The events are among the most important, prestigious and successful in the market they serve.

That understood, I gave them a single star.

To recap the rating system I proposed: 

• 1-star events focus on everyday needs, satisfying attendees' needs to navigate without stress through physical space; meet other people and chat; acquire useful information; and talk business.

• 2-star events cater to fantasy, satisfying attendees' needs to lessen anxiety and escape reality.

• 3-star events provide cheap thrills, satisfying attendees’ needs to be wowed and titillated.

• 4-star events provide genuine thrills, satisfying attendees’ needs to be awed by proof of human ingenuity and displays of daring.

• 5-star events focus on melioration, satisfying attendees’ needs to improve not only themselves, but to better the lives of others.

If you are honest about your own event and can at best award it one star, remember that to earn a 1-star rating from Michelin, a restaurant has to represent, “A good place to stop on your journey, indicating a very good restaurant in its category, offering cuisine prepared to a consistently high standard.”

Even celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants all don’t have a Michelin 1-star rating.

Advice to CES: Add a Super Keynote

The producers of North America's largest B2B event, CES, are in the hot seat.

Seems they neglected to include any women in the lineup of keynote speakers at next month's show. The error was compounded when a spokesperson answered hostile critics by saying none was qualified, and blaming the paucity of women leaders on the tech industry.

The fact that CES has featured 21 women keynoters in the past 11 years escaped notice.

My humble advice to CES: add a super keynote (and make sure she's a she).

Words aren't your ally in this case, so quit relying on them.

Actions speak louder.

13 Email Marketing Don'ts

My clients are nonplussed by spam traps. 

Me, too.

Spam traps catch legitimate emails—even personal ones—routinely. There are a million and one reasons; but most boil down to:

• The ISP that originated the message (some welcome use by spammers, so get themselves blacklisted);
  

• The software that sent the message (was it sent, say, sent by Outlook or by a suspected "spam engine?"); and
  

• Content "red flags" (flashy HTML, for example, or words and phrases like "click" and "buy now").

Like death and taxes, you cannot avoid spam traps. But you can try. Here are 13 email "don'ts" to help you:

• Don't neglect list hygiene. Bad list hygiene may very well be the email marketer's "original sin." Clean your list regularly through an outside service to remove non-deliverable email addresses.
  
  
• Don't get flagged as a spammer. Use email delivery providers who closely guard their reputations and don't use "dirty servers" to send your messages.
  
  
• Don't include a lot of pictures. Hackers love to use pictures to spread viruses, so spam filters consider every one of them a carrier.
  
  
• Don't include a lot of links. Two are safe; three or more put you in the danger zone.
  
  
• Don't use spammy keywords. Avoid "amazing," "limited time only," "you're a winner," and other dangerous words and phrases. Watch your Subject lines, in particular. A line like "Urgent reply required" makes your message look like a Nigerian business proposal.
  
  
• Don't use large fonts, colored fonts, or ALL CAPS. They'll raise your spam score.
  
  
• Don't send attachments. They're another tool hackers love. By sending them, you're begging to be blocked.
  
  
• Don't flout CAN-SPAM rules. Don't omit your return address or an opt-out feature.
  
  
• Don't send to web-based email addresses like Gmail, Yahoo, and AOL. These providers have traps that are unforgiving. If you must send to web-based email addresses, realize many messages will be blocked.
  
  
• Don't send to "seeds." Seeds are inserted by list-scrapers into harvested lists. Sending emails to them will get you flagged as a spammer.
  
  
• Don't send in the dead of the night. That's what spammers do.
  
  
• Don't send too often. Spammers do that, too.
  
  
• Don't bombard a single domain. Corporate email servers are set up to block messages sent to a large number of people at one domain.

Think Small

You've heard of a Volkswagen. But a Volksempfänger?

The Volksempfänger ("People's Radio") was introduced in Germany in 1933 upon decree by Hitler's propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels.

The low price of the deluxe model—the equivalent of two weeks' pay—made the Volksempfänger affordable to most working families; and a cheaper model—nicknamed the Goebbelsschnauze ("Goebbels' snout")—could be bought on store credit by the unemployed.

Goebbels' idea was simple: the Volksempfänger would assure "no one can break out."

Brainwashing was was baked in. The Volksempfänger's dial only let listeners find German and Austrian stations; and the lack of shortwave reception made it impossible to listen to foreign broadcasts, unless you added an antenna—a criminal offense that was punishable by confiscation of your radio, a fine, imprisonment in a concentration camp, or death.

At the Nuremberg Trials, Hitler's armaments minister Albert Speer told the judges, "Through technical devices like the radio and loudspeaker, 80 million people were deprived of independent thought."

I sometimes wonder why so many of my fellow Americans cherish inane ideas.

Then I remember, there's our version of the Volksempfänger.

Fox News.