All bad writers are in love with the epic.
― Ernest Hemingway
The English language isn't precious; but it has its charms.
So when self-proclaimed wordsmiths defile it, I get pretty sore.
Among the greatest defilers are consultants.
When they speak, gibberish bursts from their mouths like puss from a boil; and when they write—or, as they prefer, when they "wordsmith"—clear English turns into hooey.
Consultants love, in particular, nouning: deadening verbs by converting them into nouns.
Nouning, they believe, elevates their jejune statements—and justifies their fees.
For example:
We're experiencing a disconnect.
Watch for my invite.
I know a foolproof hack.
That was an epic pivot.
That was an epic fail.
Equally vile are headline writers.
When they start nouning, you'd better reach for the kidney dish.
For example:
AMC hoping sales reach $5.2 billion. Here’s why that’s a big ask.
Windows 11 preview: What’s in the latest build?
Need a good eat plan?
Feeling anxious? Declutter your overwhlem.
Nouns like these aren't just pompous. They're nauseating.
"Many of us dislike reading or hearing clusters of such nouns," says wordsmith Henry Hitchens.
"We associate them with legalese, bureaucracy, corporate jive, advertising or the more hollow kinds of academic prose. Writing packed with nominalizations is commonly regarded as slovenly, obfuscatory, pretentious or merely ugly."
Ugly is right.
So I ask—as your consultant—need a solve for this problem?
The next time you encounter a nouner, grab a hammer.
