Anything is better than not to write clearly.
— Somerset Maugham
The author, Jean Wodnicki, say she hopes to advise Champlain Towers residents of the "state of the building," because answering their pesky questions has become an annoyance and "all-consuming."
The issue at hand: a repairs estimate for $15 million. The homeowners association, over which she presides, has almost no money.
Three long, boring paragraphs in, Wodnicki notes that the building's state is lousy and "has gotten significantly worse" since the estimate was received.
It appears the pillars are "spalling."
Anything is better than not to write clearly.
Monday-morning quarterbacking is easy; but were I to have written Wodnicki's letter, I might have opened it like this:
Dear Neighbors,
We have talked for years about the need to repair our crumbling building. There's no more time for talk. Now is the time to proceed. The repair will cost $15 million. Because there is little cash on hand, all of us will have to pony up.
We have talked for years about the need to repair our crumbling building. There's no more time for talk. Now is the time to proceed. The repair will cost $15 million. Because there is little cash on hand, all of us will have to pony up.
With the benefit of clairvoyance, I would have added a second lead-in paragraph:
Dear Neighbors,
We have talked for years about the need to repair our crumbling building. There's no more time for talk. Now is the time to proceed. The repair will cost $15 million. Because there is little cash on hand, all of us will have to pony up.
We have talked for years about the need to repair our crumbling building. There's no more time for talk. Now is the time to proceed. The repair will cost $15 million. Because there is little cash on hand, all of us will have to pony up.
Clairvoyance or not, I would have made sure the letter fit on one side of a piece of paper, and that readers understood by the close that the repairs must commence—immediately.
“An honest tale speeds best being plainly told," Shakespeare said.
Don't ever send a letter like this.