But Washington, DC humorist Gene Weingarten managed to pen a cute one last Sunday in The Washington Post, "Goodbye, cruel words: English. It's dead to me."
English, "which arose from humble Anglo-Saxon roots to become the lingua franca of 600 million people," passed away on August 21st, according to Weingarten. "Signs of its failing health had been evident for some time on the pages of America's daily newspapers."
The chief causes of death are listed as greed and indifference.
"It was not immediately clear to what degree the English language will be mourned, or if it will be mourned at all," notes Weingarten.
"In the United States, English has become increasingly irrelevant, particularly among young adults. Once the most popular major at the nation's leading colleges and universities, it now often trails more pragmatic disciplines, such as economics, politics, government, and, ironically, "communications," which increasingly involves learning to write mobile-device-friendly ads for products like Cheez Doodles."
