The Mighty Copywriter's New Rule for Gender Marking

Among the "lessons" recited at church on Christmas Eve was the annunciation to the shepherds.

My wife complained on the sidewalk outside about the lesson's loss in euphony.

"Glory to God in the highest," the angel proclaimed, "and on earth peace, good will toward all people."

King James had been neutered.

The inclusive "good will toward all people" sounds wrong for a reason: it's too stately. "Good will toward men"—like a shepherd—is plain and unadorned.

"Prose is architecture, " Hemingway said, "and the Baroque is over."

The King James editorial crew should have let it stand, as the US Navy has sagely done, for example, with "messman," letting it stand over the gender-neutral "culinary specialist."

And so here is The Mighty Copywriter's new rule for gender marking:

If it ain't baroque, don't fix it.

Just Add Water

Once in a while, people complain about Goodly—namely, that my posts are obscure; that, in my effort to be terse, I ask readers to connect dots that can't be connected.

To those folks I reply: I offer not sermons, but summaries.

I do so because most other bloggers write long, offhand posts. They do so, mainly, to save themselves time, or to satisfy Google's absurd preference for 1,800-word articles.

That serves their purposes well, I'm sure. I'm not sure it serves yours.

Offering summaries, on the other hand, is my way to be different—brief and to the point.

Short story writer Raymond Carver nailed it. “Get in, get out. Don’t linger. Go on.”

I hope you'll think of my posts as bullion cubes. There's a whole cup of soup condensed into these tiny foil packages.

Unwrap what's inside.  

And just add water.

These Are Days

Christmas Day 1776.

General George Washington assembled his troops on the Pennsylvania bank of the Delaware, in preparation for a sneak attack on the Hessian mercenaries garrisoned across the icy river in Trenton.

As the men waited for flatboats to arrive, through the roar of the wind their officers read aloud Thomas Paine’s new pamphlet, The Crisis:

These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

Remember, as Gandhi said, tyrants in the end always fall.

Always.



Opinions are my own.

The Magnificient Seven

On her blog, B2B marketing maven Ruth Stevens ranks seven channels by their power to acquire customers. In order, the channels are:

SEM. "The hottest of the hot," because buyers head to Google first to solve problems. "Marketers can hardly find more targeted media," Stevens says. The key to success, of course, is to pick keywords buyers use.

Telemarketing. The "workhorse medium of B-to-B direct marketing" and "the closest thing to a face-to-face selling environment." Beside selling, telemarketing is ideal for lead discovery, qualification and nurturing.

Letters and postcards. "The ol’ reliable," direct mail delivers. Buyers want information to help them do their jobs, so postal pieces are likely to be read.

Dimensional mailers. "Lumpy” mailers gets past gatekeepers, so are even more likely to be read.

Trade shows. Face-to-face performs spectacularly—when the audience is qualified. Big "horizontal" shows can be wasteful.

PR. "Simply the best bang for the buck," PR delivers awareness with high credibility. Contributed articles and news “manufactured” by original research work well.

Your website. "Your own website is the tool that can provide the cheapest, and the most qualified, sales leads," Stevens says. To work for you, your site must feature an offer and a call to action. That offer can be as simple as a white paper or e-newsletter.

What channels aren't gang members?

Print advertising. "Solid direct response ads can work brilliantly for lead generation," Stevens says. "The problem is that most ad budgets are controlled by marketing communicators who are unschooled in direct marketing."

Broadcast advertising. With the sole exception of some radio buys, ads run on broadcast and cable outlets are expensive and wasteful.

Email. "Despite its promise, email has failed business marketers as a prospecting medium, due entirely to the scourge of spam," Stevens says. "We are seeing better cost-per-lead results using direct mail."

PS: Ruth Stevens is a featured speaker at DARE, next June in Baltimore. Don't miss her!

How to Make an Evidence-based Ask

Social science findings should guide fundraising appeals, says Esther James, "The Happy Fundraiser."

James sifted the peer-reviewed papers of social scientists throughout the English-speaking world.

She uncovered 10 tips for forceful fundraising letters:

1. Always tell one beneficiary's story, both in your letters and follow-up materials—especially your thank-you notes.
   
   
2. Include at least one "sad-faced" photo of the beneficiary. Avoid group shots, because they'll trigger "compassion fatigue."
   
   
3. Describe the consequence of inaction. When St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital told the story of a baby it treated for leukemia, donors were informed 70% of the other babies with the disease would die without their help.
   
   
4. Ask for money. And do it all year.
   
   
5. Partner with a foundation, corporation or major donor to offer a matching gift. It need not be dollar-for-dollar, but it must be at least $10 to work.
   
   
6. Leverage social pressure. Spur donors by saying “people like you gave $_____."
   
   
7. Test different forms of social pressure. Donors respond well when their identities (gender, race, Zip Code, etc.) match.
   
   
8. Spend more on letters for new donors, less on letters for repeat donors.
   
   
9. Send "signals of trustworthiness." There are many. Longevity. Prominent board members' names. Grants received. Affiliations with other trusted organizations. Audited financials. The breakout of your administrative and fundraising costs. Lists of your past achievements. Testimonials. Media mentions. And charity watchdog ratings.
   
   
10. Talk up your awesomeness when writing to big donors; don't when writing to others.

PS: Esther James is my daughter. For more fundraising tips, follow her blog.