I'm not a hypochondriac, I'm an alarmist.
— Woody Allen
How many times a day have you decided you've caught the coronavirus?
In my case it's four, at least.
But I've managed to avoid routine trips to the emergency room thanks to the sage advice of a Detroit-based MD.
Dr. Susan Malinowski published her advice in Medium back in early April, when the pandemic was new and tests nonexistent.
She had already caught the virus and lost her sense of smell.
"Until we have adequate testing, don’t ignore this simple symptom," the doctor wrote.
I had no garlic at the time, but I did have have a bottle of garlic-laden Stubb's.
"Yes, there are other causes for loss of smell, but take it from someone who’s been there, the loss of smell is profound.
"Get a jar of chopped garlic and monitor your sense of smell along with temperature every day. If you can’t smell the garlic, even in the absence of other symptoms, quarantine for 14 days and wait for it to return."
I had no garlic at the time, but I did have have a bottle of garlic-laden Stubb's.
So I unscrewed the cap and took a whiff from the conical bottle first thing every morning—plus any time my inner alarm sounded (again, about four times a day).
Stubb's became my Covid-19 test kit.
Stubb's doesn't need outside marketing advice; but I'll give it, anyway.
Should sales of BBQ sauce ever decline, Stubb's might take a page from Arm & Hammer, which boosted flagging sales of baking soda with the claim that it kept refrigerators smelling sweet.
Although at-home Covid-19 tests may soon be plentiful, you can't store them in easy reach, alongside the baking soda.
Nor use them to spark up a burger.
