It is possible for highly intelligent people to have a useful but mistaken theory, and we don't have to pretend otherwise to show respect for these people.
— Daniel Dennett
I've given up arguing with reactionaries; I can hardly anymore argue with liberals.
Mistaken theories abound nowadays.
If you're struggling like me to stay civil, take the advice of Tufts University philosopher Daniel Dennett.
"Just how charitable are you supposed to be when criticizing the views of an opponent?" he asks in Intuition Pumps.
Dennett offers four rules, based on research in behavioral psychology:
- Restate your opponent's position clearly, vividly, and fairly—so much so, your opponent thanks you.
- List any points of agreement, unless they're points of widespread agreement (such as, "Politicians aren't always candid").
- Describe what you've learned from your opponent.
- Rebut you opponent only after you've taken Steps 1, 2 and 3.
This four-step process warms your opponent, so she listens to you. You might actually advance your discussion.
And if she doesn't warm to you, remember what Oscar Wilde said: "In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane."
