Tubs of Fun

Vicente Gonzalez, a congressman from Texas, told CNN this week Sam Hyde killed 26 churchgoers in his state.

Sam Hyde is not a mass murderer, but a comedian and meme, as The New York Times reports.

Gonzalez was recycling fake news a producer had shared, while the congressman had been waiting for a TV interview earlier the same day.

Fake news isn't new.

H.L. Mencken spread some in his own day, reporting in The New York Evening Mail on December 28, 1917, that President Millard Fillmore was responsible for introducing the bathtub to America.

"Bathtubs are so common today that it is almost impossible to imagine a world without them," Mencken wrote. "They are familiar to nearly everyone in all incorporated towns; in most of the large cities it is unlawful to build a dwelling house without putting them in; even on the farm they have begun to come into use."

But no one remembers who popularized the bathtub, Mencken wrote. Turns out, "it was the example of President Millard Fillmore that, even more than the grudging medical approval, gave the bathtub recognition and respectability in the United States." 

Fillmore was "an ardent advocate of the new invention, and on succeeding to the Presidency at Taylor's death, July 9, 1850, he instructed his secretary of war, General Charles M. Conrad, to invite tenders for the construction of a bathtub in the White House."

Within days of Mencken's New York Evening Mail article, Fillmore's introduction of the bathtub solidified into fact: it was cited in trade and professional journals; on the floor of Congress; and in Mencken's own newspaper. And it's still cited today, although Mencken's article was a gag.

"It never occurred to me it would be taken seriously,” he said.

Looks Like Gordon Gekko was Right

It’s not a principle until it costs you money.

― Bill Bernbach

Corporate Social Responsibility damps stock price, says a new study by two Florida Atlantic University business professors.

A company that champions the environment, human rights, diversity, product safety, or other causes shoulders costs which depress its Wall Street performance, according to the study, because a CSR initiative diverts resources from growing the core business.

Looks like Gordon Gekko was right.

While Fortune 500 companies spend over $15 billion a year on philanthropic and CSR activities, most of the money may be no more than a disguised PR spend.

A study published last year shows a CSR initiative will succeed or fail in direct proportion to the CEO's greed, as measured by his ownership of luxury assets like fancy cars, boats, and second homes.

The study found that companies led by greedy CEOs have low-scoring CSR initiatives, while those led by generous CEOs have high-scoring initiatives. It also found that greedy CEOs undertake CSR initiatives primarily to increase their own power and pay.

The findings reinforce those of psychology studies showing that people who worship possessions and pursue their acquisition are less sensitive to their effects on others; less willing to share their money and possessions with charities, friends, or family members; and less likely to engage in environmentally responsible behaviors.

Now?

Find Your Work

Your work is to find your work and attend to it with all your heart.

― Anne Bancroft

Marvel Comics editor Mark Gruenwald so loved his work he told his wife Catherine he wanted his ashes made into a comic book.

Catherine granted his wish when he died in 1996: Gruenwald's ashes were blended with the ink used to reprint Squadron Supreme, a comic book he wrote 10 years earlier.

People long to quit jobs that make them, as Adam Smith said, "as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become."

But fewer and fewer are willing, as Deloitte's 2017 study of Millennial workers shows.

According to the study (conducted annually), in 2016, 17% of workers worldwide said they'd quit their jobs immediately, given the choice; in 2017, only 7% said they'd do so.

Americans feel completely trapped, according to the study. In 2016, 7% said they'd quit their jobs immediately, given the choice; in 2017, none said they would.

Deloitte cites "a generally pessimistic outlook regarding economic and social progress" as the reason Millennials feel this way.

So, in a dicey world, how can you find your work?

In 101 Ways to Make Every Second Count, copywriter Bob Bly suggests these 10 ways:

Ask your boss for more work. Ask her to delegate tasks that will challenge you.

Take on different work. Volunteer to fill a need no one else can or will.

Learn something new. Enroll in a course.

Do something new. Join a local garden club, raise money for PETA, or go to Toastmasters.

Become active in your field. Join a professional association or teach at a local college.

Restructure your job. Make that extra work you took on the new core of your job.  

Confront greedy coworkers. Call out people who hog all the challenging tasks.

Switch departments. Apply for a transfer or promotion.

Change employers. Make the leap. 

Change fields. Do something else.

My advice goes a little farther.

First, don't be shocked if you find finding your work slow, arduous and low-wage. “If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all," Michelangelo once said.

Second, you might also find finding your work dangerous. Career adviser Scott Dinsmore, while pursing his passion, was killed by a falling rock on Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Third, don't forget to consider the market. If you want a safe bet, go to coding camp; or become an altruist, as career adviser Benjamin Todd recommends.

Events' Uneventful Downfall

Humankind's oldest, events remain, if not the cheapest, the best marketing channel.

But CMOs aren't keen on them, according to a report by The CMO Club.

While 7 of every 10 CMOs surveyed say events accelerate sales, 2 of every 3 say events aren't measurable; and 7 of 10 say events' "accountability gap" throws into question the event spend.

The accountability gap "creates challenges at budget time when the funding decisions are being made about events," according to the report. 

"While events are deemed critically important, they often lack the supporting financial data to objectively prove their value. Compared to other components of the CMO’s marketing mix that have become more sophisticated in measuring ROI, event marketers are lagging in their ability to connect the dots between activities and demonstrated results."

The accountability gap also makes choice difficult―the chief reason companies exhibit in the same events repeatedly, complaining all the while about lack of ROI.

What's a marketer to do? The report suggests you should:

Set unique goals for each event. "Not all events have the same purpose," the report says. "Some are designed to generate new leads and accelerate opportunities currently in the pipeline, while others are focused on strengthening relationships with key customers and gaining feedback to improve how marketers can better respond to their needs." Setting unique goals "will create a foundation for capturing the appropriate data to analyze the events against the stated objectives."

Create unique plans for each event. "Silos" often prevent cooperation between marketing and sales, pre-, at-, and post-event. Preparing written plans will knock down the silos and encourage both groups to capture relevant data.

Deliver an experience. This is mandatory. Quit simply checking boxes. Pick up the phone and call people before every event, be ready with a strong value proposition, and deliver it on site. If your event isn't an experience, it's a waste of time.

Feed your marketing automation and CRM systems. "Rarely are events judged on the revenue produced at that event," the report notes. "Opportunities discovered at the event take time to close and require significant post-event nurturing from marketing and follow-up from sales." Unless you import event data into your marketing automation and CRM systems, you can't track results.

Measure both activities and sales impact. Data captured at events should demonstrate ROI, not just reflect a bunch of activities. Ask your CMO to help you create C-suite-appropriate reports.

If events don't become a measurable marketing channel, they'll continue to be seen as a grievous expense, rather than an income-producing asset, the report concludes.

That could be their downfall.