A Finger in Every Pie

While roaming about the yard of St. Kentigern’s, a 12th century church in Britain's Lake District, my wife and I ran into the docent, who was locking the church doors for the night.

He was a wizened Hobbit of a man, dressed incongruously in a leather biker's jacket and a matching Los Angeles Rams cap.

He took it upon himself to give us a guided tour of the churchyard.

He pointed out a large Celtic cross over one grave and said that the man below "had his fingers in both pies," meaning the man was hedging his bet on Christianity by having an ancient pagan symbol erected above him.

The docent's statement was a corruption of an old expression, "to have a finger in every pie," which means to be a busy body.

It probably first referred to nosey visitors to the kitchen, who couldn't resist tasting the cook's dishes by sticking their fingers into them and taking a lick.

Shakespeare alluded to the expression in Henry VIII, when the Duke of Buckingham says of the meddlesome Cardinal Wolsey:

"No man's pie is freed
From his ambitious finger."

The docent of St. Kentigern’s meant less that the dead man was intrusive, but that he hoped, in the afterlife, to have his cake and eat it too.

The Shepherd's Lives

The geographic constraints of the farm are permanent, but within them
we are always looking for an angle.

― James Rebanks 

I had the honor yesterday to visit the farm of James Rebanks, to interview him for a couple trade magazine articles.

Rebanks is a British sheep farmer, an Internet rock star, and author of The Shepherd's Life, an international phenomenon whose sales have already reached over 320,000 copies.

He sat down for the interview over lunch, his clothes still muddy from the fields, where he'd been working since before dawn to care for his animals (lambing season hasn't quite yet ended, so the farm is busy).

Rebanks mentioned that, after lunch and our interview, he'd be meeting with students in the classroom he and his wife have built onto the rear of their home. Student groups visit the farm regularly to learn about raising sheep. Sheep farming at a small scale isn't very profitable, so teaching is a second income stream for the couple.

Although farming is his occupation, Rebanks, in addition to teaching, supplements his family's income with writing, professional speaking, consulting, and even the occasional construction job.

With the soft demand for wool and meat, crushing competition from industrial farms, and small-famers' meager subsidies from the government, every small sheep farmer is the UK today has to diversify, to get by. The income from a small farm is just too little to sustain anyone.

The next time I complain about having too many clients, too many projects, and too many emails to read, poke me.

Priceline Loves Loopholes

Loophole at Windsor Castle

A "loophole" is a mistake in an agreement or law that lets you escape an obligation.

We say, for example, "Priceline exploited a loophole to avoid paying any income taxes seven years in a row."

The word stems from the Middle English loupe, literally "a narrow window in a castle wall."

A loophole was designed to protect an archer as he shot at approaching enemies.

The word took on its figurative sense, "a means of escape," around 1660.

Castles could be full of bad odors, and a loophole served as a "vent" to let them out.

When Robbing You Blind, Priceline Perfers Passive

When I arrived at the airport yesterday, the airline's agent informed me my ticket had been cancelled and no seats were available on the flight.

I called Priceline, which sold me the ticket. Two agents spoke to me (after putting me on hold for 40 minutes) and told me the ticket had been cancelled and no refund would be issued.

They relied throughout the conversations on the passive voice, never admitting Priceline cancelled my ticket and Priceline is keeping my money.

It's ironic the two people have the title "agent."

Writing coach Sherry Roberts could well have had Priceline in mind when she described the passive voice:

"A sentence written in the active voice is the straight-shooting sheriff who faces the gunslinger proudly and fearlessly. It is honest, straightforward; you know where you stand.

"A sentence written in passive voice is the shifty desperado who tries to win the gunfight by shooting the sheriff in the back, stealing his horse, and sneaking out of town."

Failure

Woody Allen once told The New York Times, "If you're succeeding too much, you're doing something wrong."

Most people dread failure, so much so, they forgo any opportunity posing risk.

But failure brings transformation.

Edison failed repeatedly, but was undaunted. "I have not failed 10,000 times," he said. "I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work."

"The person who fails the most wins," Seth Godin says.

To keep failing, you've got to be good enough to keep playing.

Before he became an author, Godin was a book packager, producing a book a month for 10 years. You can bet that producing 120 books―many of which bombed―taught him about writing best-sellers.