Now wash out your ears with this.
— Paul Harvey
Were its apostles—Hannity, Levin, Ingraham, et al.—not so flagrantly gangsterish, conservatism might have more adherents.
As things are, "conservative" is an aspersion and only 36% of Americans own up to the label, according to Gallup.
That percentage that hasn't changed in three decades.
To increase conservatism's base would take a thorough cleansing of the outhouse that is "conservative talk radio" today.
And it would take the reincarnation of Paul Harvey.
Famed for his tagline, "Now you know the rest of the story," Harvey had a quirky, affected delivery, a kind of velvety staccato that he stole from "old-time" announcers and which he made his own by introducing frequent—and senseless—pauses.
Cherry-picking the day's news and adding backstories, Harvey used his daily broadcasts as a platform for an obvious, but unstated, Midwestern conservatism.
Through his copy, he loved to picture instances of self-reliance, honesty, modesty, and diligence.
He loved Horatio Alger stories and the gospel of hard work.
He loved tales of sacrifice and heroism in war.
And he loved to berate big government for any effort to bring about economic justice.
"I was never one who sought to make the small man tall by cutting off the legs of a giant," he said of the Great Society. "I wanted to drag no man down to my size, but only to preserve a way of life which might make it possible for me, one day, to elevate myself until I at least partly matched his size."
Harvey's partisanship, veiled by his Puritan-cum-Pollyanna attitude, set him apart as a broadcaster.
So did his commercialism.
Like today's podcasters, Harvey would commingle sponsors' messages with his copy, so that editorial and advertising content flowed seamlessly from his lips.
The practice—we now call it "native advertising"—earned him the label "the finest huckster ever to roam the airwaves."
"I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is," Harvey once said.
A testament to his gentle conservatism, Harvey received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from George W. Bush in 2005.
It's the highest honor a civilian can receive.
"Americans like the sound of his voice," Bush said at the ceremony.
"Over the decades we have come to recognize in that voice some of the finest qualities of our country: patriotism, good humor, kindness, and common sense."
You sure won't find anything remotely like those qualities on conservative talk radio today, where venom and lies are the stock in trade.
