Christmas in July

We need a little Christmas, right this very minute,
candles in the window, carols at the spinet.

— Jerry Herman

Happiness among Americans has reached a 50-year low, according to a new survey by the University of Chicago.

Although the nation's prospects were bleak, by comparison we were happier when JFK was shot and when the Twin Towers fell.

We're abjectly unhappy now—and worried our children and our children's children will never be happy, as well.

But do Americans deserve happiness? I'm not sure many do. 

Its pursuit might be, as Jefferson believed, an "unalienable right;" but what have Americans done lately to earn happiness? Stockpiled more guns? Denied hungry families food stamps? Locked migrant children in cages?

And what is happiness, anyway?

The Enlightenment thinker Kant defined it as "getting what you wish for."

Simple enough.

But there's a problem: what do you wish for? A pink Cadillac? The Hope Diamond? A seat on the stock exchange? A guest spot on The Bachelor? A house at the beach? A mansion in St. Louis?

"While every human being wants to attain happiness," Kant said, "he can never say decisively and in a way that is harmonious with himself what he really wishes for."

You cannot know what to wish for—what would make you truly happy—because you cannot know what the future may bring. "Omniscience would be required for that,” the philosopher said.

Kant's advice: don't chase after happiness; instead, pursue virtue. 

Act morally—be of good will—and at least you'll become happiness-worthy. You'll find that you never treat other people as the means to happiness; you'll treat them, instead, as fellow human beings. And when you treat other people as fellow human beings, it ceases to matter whether what you do, or don't do, increases or decreases the supply of happiness in the world—yours or theirs. All that will matter is you've added to the world supply of good will—and perhaps made yourself a bit more worthy of being happy.

Acting morally is like pausing to buff a diamond you can never own. 

"A good will is not good because of what it effects or accomplishes, it is good in itself," Kant said. "Even if by utmost effort the good will accomplishes nothing, it would still shine like a jewel for its own sake as something that has full value in itself."

Done anything virtuous lately?

If not, maybe, like most Americans, you don't deserve happiness; don't deserve Christmas in July.

Excused

In 2007, University of Colorado psychologist Frederick Coolidge asked five historians to take diagnostic personality tests on behalf of Adolph Hitler.

The results showed Hitler was clinically insane.

More specifically, they showed der Führer was a schizophrenic who suffered from psychotic thinking and extreme paranoia.

Not only did he have delusions of grandeur, but Hitler was chronically anxious, angry, argumentative, aloof, patronizing, narcissistic, and sadistic.

Followers, nonetheless, excused him.

"Dangerous leaders typically have apologists who discount their destructive methods in favor of viewing their behavior as consonant with 'laudable' goals," Coolidge wrote.

Cornelius Vanderbilt IV, an American filmmaker and magazine correspondent, interviewed Hitler on March 5, 1933, the day he was elected Reich Chancellor. The interview took place in a backstage corridor of the Berlin Sports Palace, at the start of a Nazi rally.

Although he spent less than a minute with Hitler, Vanderbilt sensed he was in the presence of a madman.

“Tell the Americans that Adolf Hitler is the man of the hour," Hitler told him. "Tell them he was sent by the almighty to a nation that had been threatened with disintegration and loss of honor these last fifteen years.”

In a Country Churchyard

The paths of glory lead but to the grave.

― Thomas Gray

On the eve of Barack Obama's first inauguration, Rep. John Lewis recounted "Bloody Sunday" for NPR's Terry Gross.

While the event was political in nature, its roots were the church, and listening to a replay of Lewis' interview this week prompted me to stop by a tiny "colored" graveyard just a mile from my home.

Bucktoe Cemetery feels hermetic on a sultry July afternoon, more like a piece of backwoods Mississippi than eastern Pennsylvania. It's the resting place for, among a hundred other souls, nine members of the US Colored Troops, veterans of the Civil War. The graveyard once nestled the largest church in the township, but Klansmen burned it down in 1900. Today, only a partial foundation remains.

Blacks represented only 1% of the North's population in 1860; but 10% of the Northern army during the Civil War. Congress at first was reluctant to allow Blacks to serve, but in 1862 deemed their service was an "indispensable military necessity." Lincoln agreed.

Once assembled and drilled, regiments of the US Colored Troops were ferried to the Deep South, to fight Confederates on their home turf (Edward Zwick's magnificent film "Glory" recounts the first such regiment's history). US Colored Troops also served combat duty in Virginia, fighting under U.S. Grant against Robert E. Lee.

Nearly 200,000 Black troops served in the Civil War; and more than 37,000 died.

I am Karen

I am what I am. I don't want praise, I don't want pity. 
I bang my own drum―some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.

― Jerry Herman

Women friends of mine, their names notwithstanding, are upset "Karen" has become a pejorative.

By one definition, a Karen is a "quintessential white woman who rocks an edgy, highlighted bob and demands to speak to the manager."

She’s entitled, assertive, and prone to public tantrums, fueled by an ingrained fear she could readily be victimized. And she has a “Live, Laugh, Love” placard, probably in her kitchen.

Well, I don't have a placard, but I'm here to tell you I am Karen.

I won't yell at the store manager or call the cops because you're Black. 

But―no matter your color―I will erupt when you:

• Abandon your cart in the checkout line
• Park your goddamned SUV in a handicapped space
• Go without a mask in the hardware store
• Let your doberman run without a leash 
• Smack your kids across the face
• Litter 
• Pitch me your cheesy software on LinkedIn 
• Bill my credit card without asking 
• Charge me $800 for a $100 dental procedure
• Fly the Confederate flag
• Imply Blacks, Latinos or Asians are inferior to Whites
• Disparage Gays
• Praise Ayn Rand, or 
• Insist Donald Trump is a good businessman, president, or human being

I make no excuses: I am what I am.

I am Karen.

Be Very Afraid

Readers told me my latest post struck a nerve.

Today, The Wall Street Journal issued poll findings confirming I am right:

"Less than four months before the November election, 51% of voters said they would vote for Mr. Biden if the election were held today, with 40% backing Mr. Trump."

Be very afraid.